BROKEN AND SHATTERED: Diary of an Abused Child

 

The knowledge in this book is unquantifiable and it is divided into various topics so that you can understand what the crux of this matter is and gain more insight. As you read through, I would like you to acknowledge that children cry and that they are victims of abuse. I would like you to support them with the care they need to be fulfilled in life. It doesn’t matter whose child he/she is. You can support every child you come in contact with.

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THE STORY OF PRETTY WHO CRIED FOR YEARS (name not real)

This happened in a community in Abuja where a child of four years called Pretty, who as a little and innocent girl, did not know anything and wasn’t taught about her body and private parts. Pretty was a happy girl and every neighbour was fond of her smiles and mellifluous voice. She loved to squiggle from one neighbour's house to the other as she was always left alone by her parents who trusted their neighbours and felt that Pretty was always safe with them. Pretty was a beautiful and innocent child when she clocked 7 in the year 2017. She grew so big and looked older than her age.

Mr and Mrs Johnson were Pretty's parents and were average people who tried to survive with the little business they did. Pretty was enrolled into a government school and she loved going to school and was always on time. Whenever she came back from school, she went to the market to help her mother in sales. She was a hard working child at that age but still had not been taught about her body parts, her right as a child, what to do, and what not to do.

Two years after; that was November 2019, still no one had taught her about her private parts, the good and bad touch, people that should be in her cycle, how to relate with the opposite sex, and the need to avoid secret places.

On a Friday after the close of school, Pretty's mum asked her to go and sell egg-rolls so that they could raise money for her school fees; which she did. While moving around selling egg-roll not too far from her neighbourhood, two young boys called her and pretended that they wanted to buy some egg-rolls. One of the boys invited her into their room and she followed him out of ignorance.

On getting inside the room, the boy held her and asked her to undress. She did and he raped her. He told her not to tell anyone and gave her money for all the egg-rolls. Pretty's innocence was stolen. She was troubled, in pains, yet could not tell anyone. However, she was happy that she sold all her egg-rolls. Two months later, Pretty still did not tell anyone about her experience in the boy's room. She pretended as if nothing had happened just because she was threatened not to tell anyone.

One day after school, her mother gave her some egg-rolls to go and sell. She met the two boys but this time, it was the other boy who invited her into their room. While she was struggling with him, he pushed her and forcefully raped her and asked her to leave. He didn’t buy any egg-roll from her. Pretty went home crying. Her mother, Mrs Johnson, asked her, “Pretty, what happened? Why are you crying?” She refused to utter a word.

Mrs. Johnson, in her ignorance, chose not to press her or ask why she was crying, avoiding any attempt to understand her distress. She thought that it was because she didn’t make sales that day. (Mrs Johnson wasn’t a seasoned mother who could handle her child and make her speak up instead of assuming and making up ideas behind the daughter's mood).

Pretty cried for two months and still did not tell anyone what she was going through. The nightmares became consistent. These periods were hell for Pretty as she could not conquer her fears by telling anyone what had happened.

At the age of nine, Pretty had already developed breasts on her chest and was having her monthly cycle. Mrs. Johnson never explained to Pretty how a girl’s body functions and develops or taught her how to care for and protect herself. A month after her last rape, Pretty got pregnant and it was like a bomb in the ears of the members of the community. Everyone asked, “Who did this to little Pretty?” Everyone wanted to show they cared for her but it was too late. How can a girl of nine be pregnant? It was the talk of the community. Pretty cried her eyes out.

Mrs Johnson pulled Pretty towards herself and asked, “Who impregnated you?” Pretty was shivering with tears gushing down her cheeks. She still could not say a word as her lips were shaking and vibrating. Her mother broke into tears, staring at her daughter. She couldn’t behold the shame.

It is so easy to take little things for granted when everything is easy. When things are moving smoothly, we think we can achieve anything out of ignorance. Pretty's mother will never forget what she put Pretty into for being carefree and nonchalant about things relating to her daughter's growth and the kind of parenting style she and her husband used in training Pretty.

Mrs Johnson didn’t create a mother-child relationship while bringing up Pretty. She wasn’t there for her at all. You could imagine how long Pretty kept her experience without telling her mother. Mrs. Johnson wasn’t a nurturing or compassionate mother. She lacked many of the qualities that define a loving parent. If only she understood the pain Pretty was experiencing as she cried, she might have addressed the situation right then and there.

There was never a time Mrs Johnson sat her daughter down to teach her about her body parts, the changes that occur in the body; in the process of growth, right touch and bad touch, how to relate with the opposite sex, and how to care and protect the body.

Pretty cried every day until she was able to speak up after several measures were taken. She took her parents to the rapist -- Ken who abused her. Ken denied the pregnancy at first. He later accepted that he was the person involved after several threats to go for a test and take the matter to the police.

At every point in children's stages of development, it is important that parents should try and create a rapport with their children. It is very important for parents to be always actively involved in everything that relates to their children. In this case, abuse will be reduced and THE CHILD WILL NOT CRY!

A lot of things are happening under the carpet. You can get a hard copy @ amazon.com/author/ihuomaemeruwa

Amb. Ihuoma Chinecherem E.